I’m going to pick Sid up from the Air port in my little BMW that I borrowed from my Grandparents. As I pull up he looks either anxious or confused. I couldn’t tell. I exclaim “Hey Sid!!”
He peers around for a second then spots me; “Leona! How are you my good friend?”
“I am fine. How was the plane ride?”
“It was OK, a little bumpy but other wise a good landing and such.”
He only had one bag with him and it was small, very small. Smaller than Paris Hiltons doggie bag. I don’t know what was in it.
I pull away from the air port and he complements on my aqua blue Z3 Convertible BMW. I love it even though I feel like I’m driving a tin can.
Sid asks “What do you have in store for me today?”
“Something a little bit more relaxing than last time.”
He let go a breath of relief, “good I don’t think I could handle”, he put his fingers up in quotes “the “mosh pit” thing again.” I laugh and keep driving. Just saying;
“You’ll see” with a goofy smile on my face.
As we arrived at
I just kept answering him I thought it was fun. I brought him into some clothing stores and he tried on some things. He couldn’t buy anything though and I also didn’t have money. So we just window shopped, which I also had to explain to him. When sundown started to come we went from the mall to
When we got to the beach he was exited he had never seen the ocean before, he kept calling it a river. I would giggle each time he said it. The ocean looked so serene, there were little bugs or plants in it that made it glow; the waves weren’t that big and there weren’t that many people around. A few couples here and there but that’s all the sand was still a little warm from the sun but getting cooler, it was a nice summer evening though. Sid just starred out into the sun as we watched it go down, he then said “I couldn’t relate to any place like the;” as he put his fingers in the quotes again “”mall” but I feel like I’ve seen this before, not in a human form, but maybe as I was meditating one day or something. In a spiritual form, out of body.” He snickered; “if you get what I’m saying.”
“Sid I never get anything your saying but I understand.” I said putting my hand on his shoulder and laughing. The sun was nearly half way now and we were both quiet. A few runners with there dogs went by and Sid told me how they have dogs over in
As the sun was almost behind the horizon he was saying good morning to
As I was dropping him off at the air port he just said Thank You Leona and I told him no problem and that he was welcome in
“Till next time!” I say waving.
3 comments:
I think the one that was most well done would have been the ascetic because it was more in depth. I liked how she went into detail about what he was asking and she sometimes had an answer. I really liked the sentence talking about how his bag was smaller then Paris Hiltons dog bag because she compared something. Also, I like the fact that it was small… very small.
“He only had one bag with him and it was small, very small. Smaller than Paris Hiltons doggie bag.”
Leona could have done some more dialogue. I think the readers could have gotten more out of what Siddhartha was trying to ask. Another thing is proof reading. She had a lot of errors. But no one is perfect, I most likely did the same thing.
“You’ll see” with a goofy smile on my face.
Sid was asking questions about everything, for example; “why is everything so expensive?” and “how do they create this frosting on this doughnut?”
There really wasn’t a reference to Siddhartha. It could have been there, but I don’t remember seeing it.
The intro really didn’t grab my attention. So for me to keep reading it was kind of hard. I really don’t know what could be better, possibly more engaging in conversation. It is very bland.
i think that the ascetic part of the story was very well done i like the part were he talks about the river.
"On the way back to the air port he told me how the beach was like a place he goes to meditate next to the river, “it’s a little sandy patch with vines and trees all around me, that’s one of the slow parts of the river he says. It is where all the animals go to swim or drink. I enjoy their company.”
she could have had more dialogue because it would have been cool to see her reaction to how sid was asking so many questions.
“how do they create this frosting on this doughnut?”
she refrenced the river that he meditated.
yeah the intro grabbed my attention although it doesnt take much.
I liked both of your places that you decided to take siddhartha to. I like the amout of detail that you put in to describing the places, it really sets a mood. I liked how you made reading this really funny about paris hilton.
There was some dialogue in the essay although I would like to hear more of what he has to say. He seems intrested in everything around him like his donut and im sure if there were more talking it would be more funnier.
The intro was what made me choose to read this... cause if it wasnt interesting I would have probably left it, but it was really intresting and made me want to read more. Good job!
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